Sunday, March 13, 2011

All these recipes call for elephant!

Something is happening to me, right now, at this very moment, and I realize it is happening, I can point at it and say "THAT" is happening to me, but I am almost powerless to stop it.  I am a fairly intelligent person, with goals and dreams and poor spelling abilities and humble notions about saving the world I one day hope to rule.  Fear me mortals!!  But this, this thing that is taking over, I cannot seem to shake or overcome!  What the heck?  I hope this blog post does not reveal any weakness to governments I hope to overthrow.

It started when I read a blurb about meatless Mondays in March.  See the alliterations.  Doesn't it make you warm all over.  Or someplace.  Anyway, I decided to try it.  And before you go all crazy on me thinking vegetarianism is a gateway behavior for protesting against soldiers, and professing a love of French international policies, know that meatless one day in seven for one month does not a vegetarian make.  And any parallels drawn between diet and crazy are up to you.  Except for diets strictly comprised of cookies, I think Cookie Monster has demonstrated the mental perils of such a regime.

So the thing, the "THAT" which is happening right now?  That is me doing this: "ummmm so tomorrow, I have chicken - no meatless Monday.  I have salmon - no.  I can get some shrimp - GAH!  I know, I will make spaghetti.  No I have turkey meatballs.  Wah everything has meat!"  What?!  Really, I can't make spaghetti with dry noodles and jarred sauce because I have frozen meatballs?  How does that even make sense?  I eat a lot of meatless dishes, there are at least 2 in previous posts, so why is it now, right now, I cannot think of anything?  What is it about deliberately choosing something - going meatless on Monday's, hiking more, being more tidy - that has the opposite effect?  Is the world full of sedentary meat eating slobs with the universe working against well meaning goals, or is it just a contrary streak of my very own?