By the Power of Cany Floss!!!

This past Christmas I received a fantastic wall hanging:

See - fabulous right?  Of course right!  

Clearly this had to be my Facebook profile picture.  Anyone who knows me, knows this is true.

But, alas, it was time to change my profile picture.  So I solicited opinions from my Facebook friends.  

Should I be a sheep?

A comb over?

[Picture to use locked away in dead Laptop Murry]

Or something else entirely?

I got one suggestion for a family of three kumquats coming together to discuss the disappearance of their tree, all who resided there and more recently little Koomi's vanishing act.

Actually, all he said was Kumquat, but once you see the photo, it just screams displaced and confused kumquat family searching for what they once had, but are in reality living in a horror flick, where giants gather them together to eat them.

The next idea was Niece and/or Nephew drawing a portrait of me and putting that up.

I really look forward to comissioning and posting the portrait(s). :)

The final suggestion for the night was fully supported by a good friend, thus I needed to make it happen. 

"You holding a battle axe over a river of flaming cotton candy." 

And thus it was so.

Disjointed

I can tie my hair in a knot.  Pull it back, twist and pull through.  My friend is coming to town this week and is going to give me a trim.  We went to a 1 hour class on how to cut boys hair one time, a couple of years ago, and she became my go to hair cut lady.  Don't try to find the logic in that, your head will explode.

In times of stress I don't sleep well.  It turns out getting rid of many of my beloved quilts and making my room cooler helps me mostly stay asleep when I finally fall asleep.  Good to know.

In those times I need a change, I feel like I should do something drastic, something bold and different and not quite out of character but out of comfortable.

I am the lead at my job.  I don't work Sundays, but I accept work calls on Sundays.  My boss was out sick today and staff needed some clarification in order to meet looming deadlines.  One staff member made a part for our production, but another staff member said they were too small and would be unworkable.  I told him to use them anyway.

When I was a kid, my parents saved money by buying us kids shoes a size too large.  That way the shoes would be worn out before they were out grown.  I remember the first time my parents bought me shoes that were the right size.  I didn't like them.  They didn't fit the way I was used to.  There was no play in them, and my toes were alarmingly close to the toe of the shoe.  I told my parents that I didn't like them, they were the wrong size.  My dad told me that they were the right size and I would get used to them.

My conversation with the staff member that wanted to used different items for out production reminded me of that incident.

Sometimes in life we add extra padding or wear things a size too big and when things come along that fit we don't recognize them, we don't like them, we are alarmingly close to the edge of our sphere, sometimes we are told, in essence, to suck it up.  Other times we watch the foreign fit go by.

In times of stress I don't sleep well, I need a change, I need to do something drastic.  I do nothing.  My focus becomes the only thing I can control, the fastest way to change.  It's probably a flight response but I feel like change or explode.  Move.  Leave.  Change.  Do.  I can't really move or leave, I do not have skills that will easily land me a benefited job.  I don't want to be that far from family.  I also lack the courage.  I lack the courage for a lot of things. So I focus on instant change.  Cutting my hair short.

I can tie my hair in a knot.  Pull back, twist and pull through.  My friend will give me a trim while she is in town.  After this hair cut, I will still probably be able to tie my hair in a knot.

All these recipes call for elephant!

Something is happening to me, right now, at this very moment, and I realize it is happening, I can point at it and say "THAT" is happening to me, but I am almost powerless to stop it.  I am a fairly intelligent person, with goals and dreams and poor spelling abilities and humble notions about saving the world I one day hope to rule.  Fear me mortals!!  But this, this thing that is taking over, I cannot seem to shake or overcome!  What the heck?  I hope this blog post does not reveal any weakness to governments I hope to overthrow.

It started when I read a blurb about meatless Mondays in March.  See the alliterations.  Doesn't it make you warm all over.  Or someplace.  Anyway, I decided to try it.  And before you go all crazy on me thinking vegetarianism is a gateway behavior for protesting against soldiers, and professing a love of French international policies, know that meatless one day in seven for one month does not a vegetarian make.  And any parallels drawn between diet and crazy are up to you.  Except for diets strictly comprised of cookies, I think Cookie Monster has demonstrated the mental perils of such a regime.

So the thing, the "THAT" which is happening right now?  That is me doing this: "ummmm so tomorrow, I have chicken - no meatless Monday.  I have salmon - no.  I can get some shrimp - GAH!  I know, I will make spaghetti.  No I have turkey meatballs.  Wah everything has meat!"  What?!  Really, I can't make spaghetti with dry noodles and jarred sauce because I have frozen meatballs?  How does that even make sense?  I eat a lot of meatless dishes, there are at least 2 in previous posts, so why is it now, right now, I cannot think of anything?  What is it about deliberately choosing something - going meatless on Monday's, hiking more, being more tidy - that has the opposite effect?  Is the world full of sedentary meat eating slobs with the universe working against well meaning goals, or is it just a contrary streak of my very own?

Pom Trouble

For several years now, I have given Sister a pomegranate for her birthday; sometimes accompanied by wrapped things, sometimes not.  It wasn't until Nephew was 5 years old (and two days) that he saw the produce I gave his mom and had to try it.  Now, Nephew is not what you would call an adventurous eater, most food is viewed with suspicion and disdain, though sometimes he surprises you with requests for your food (which means you will never see your samosa again, even though he said it was too spicy).  But after trying some of the kernel-seed-pulpy-juicy-what-ever-they-are things, he wanted a pom for his birthday, and reminded me often over the next few months.

His 6th birthday is where we pick up the story.

 Nephew: Yay a pomegranate!  Thanks, Auntie.

Me: Yay, I win best Auntie gift until he opens up toys!

 Sister: (tinted with family sarcasm) Oh wow, how did you know?  It is such a surprise.

Me: Yay, I win best sister gift given every year!
Nephew: Just like I got on my birthday!

 Niece: Auntie, I wanna ponnaganite like mommy and brother.  I want to eat one all by my self too.

Me: Sweetie, your birthday is in the winter, and pomegranates are for the fall and might not be in the stores for your birthday.

Niece: I wanna eat one all by my self like mommy and brother for my birthday! 

Pomegranate 1: Welcome to the gun show!

Pomegranate 2: Ba ha, anything after us is just leftovers!

 Old Pom: What? It's your geese's shirt day?  Huh!  In my day, geese didn't wear shirts!

 This year no more birthday poms!

You Haven't Lived!

Unpack all the things?!

 

  Look at that!

Who puts year round shedding trees by patios?

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la

 Roommate, I am home.  How much did you get unpa...

 SOOO many needles on the patio and in the gutter.

   I mean, who hasn't been distracted from work by a compelling need to sweep the patio?

-I never have.

-You've never lived!

Strega Nona - noooOOOOooooOOOOOOoooooo

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Hmm, o'lunch thirty.

Not much of either.

*Harp sounds indicating dream sequence*

I will make them both.

Set the timer.

Do, do, do, bubble, bubble, bubble.

Bubble a little higher.

I wonder how my pasta is doing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What a way!

I'm hungry, I missed lunch.  I will have some toast.

What else?

Hmmmm I need to cut up that pineapple...

 
In other news, a bay area women was found dead after consuming large amounts of pineapple in a relatively short amount of time. Investigators do not yet have word on why the woman ate so much pineapple, but they say it was the worst case of Toomuchpineapplexia in 20 years.

 Coming up next Big Name Actress is in trouble with the law again...