Pom Trouble

For several years now, I have given Sister a pomegranate for her birthday; sometimes accompanied by wrapped things, sometimes not.  It wasn't until Nephew was 5 years old (and two days) that he saw the produce I gave his mom and had to try it.  Now, Nephew is not what you would call an adventurous eater, most food is viewed with suspicion and disdain, though sometimes he surprises you with requests for your food (which means you will never see your samosa again, even though he said it was too spicy).  But after trying some of the kernel-seed-pulpy-juicy-what-ever-they-are things, he wanted a pom for his birthday, and reminded me often over the next few months.

His 6th birthday is where we pick up the story.

 Nephew: Yay a pomegranate!  Thanks, Auntie.

Me: Yay, I win best Auntie gift until he opens up toys!

 Sister: (tinted with family sarcasm) Oh wow, how did you know?  It is such a surprise.

Me: Yay, I win best sister gift given every year!
Nephew: Just like I got on my birthday!

 Niece: Auntie, I wanna ponnaganite like mommy and brother.  I want to eat one all by my self too.

Me: Sweetie, your birthday is in the winter, and pomegranates are for the fall and might not be in the stores for your birthday.

Niece: I wanna eat one all by my self like mommy and brother for my birthday! 

Pomegranate 1: Welcome to the gun show!

Pomegranate 2: Ba ha, anything after us is just leftovers!

 Old Pom: What? It's your geese's shirt day?  Huh!  In my day, geese didn't wear shirts!

 This year no more birthday poms!

You Haven't Lived!

Unpack all the things?!

 

  Look at that!

Who puts year round shedding trees by patios?

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la

 Roommate, I am home.  How much did you get unpa...

 SOOO many needles on the patio and in the gutter.

   I mean, who hasn't been distracted from work by a compelling need to sweep the patio?

-I never have.

-You've never lived!

Strega Nona - noooOOOOooooOOOOOOoooooo

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Hmm, o'lunch thirty.

Not much of either.

*Harp sounds indicating dream sequence*

I will make them both.

Set the timer.

Do, do, do, bubble, bubble, bubble.

Bubble a little higher.

I wonder how my pasta is doing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What a way!

I'm hungry, I missed lunch.  I will have some toast.

What else?

Hmmmm I need to cut up that pineapple...

 
In other news, a bay area women was found dead after consuming large amounts of pineapple in a relatively short amount of time. Investigators do not yet have word on why the woman ate so much pineapple, but they say it was the worst case of Toomuchpineapplexia in 20 years.

 Coming up next Big Name Actress is in trouble with the law again...

One May Win a Battle Only to Loose the Pie.

I have been cooking since I was six. Four if you count that one time my dad let me stand over the stove and watch ramen boil. Which I overcooked because hellllooooo I was four and he didn't tell me why the timer was set. Anyway I had to wait until I was a mature six before I could make scrambled eggs, then I was off. It was scrambled eggs for an afternoon snack, breakfast, let's celebrate 2 pm and no school with scrambled eggs. Plain eggs boring? Put hacked off pieces of cheddar cheese in them. Mushrooms! GASP, DROOL!! MUSHROOMS AND CHEESE!!! Oh ya. I rocked the fancy pants scrambled egg world as a first grader. In my mom's defense, she was actually teaching my brother who is 2 years older than I am, but I would NOT be left out of any learning and she just had to teach me!!! So she did. This meant my brother and I were old and wise together, and because we were wise and mature with a lot of knowledge to share with the younger and less fortunate, we taught our 4 year old sister how to make scrambled eggs when mom wasn't around. Her education would not be neglected as long as ours was. To our credit, little sister neither burned the house down, nor burnt herself - we instilled the fear of getting hurt then getting caught. It was enough. Now she is a far better cook than I. It's the 2 year leg up she had.

So with all this experience under my belt, I just need so say: I love cooking, I love the learning, experiencing new recipes, new flavors, experimenting, cooking for others (not so much just for myself), the process, the successes, and some times even the failures...sometimes.

Enter my arch nemesis: Pie.

Every time I make a pie crust I end up having to piece the crust together. Rolled out it's oblong and ugly and no matter how it is turned will NOT fit the pie plate. If it is a berry pie, the lattice is uneven in the places it hasn't crumbled and fallen, and custard base pies...bah! The only pies to turn out for me have gram cracker crusts and are filled with pudding like filling and topped with whipped cream. (Yes, the same pies your 7 year old cousin brings to family functions. Shut up.) But baked crust; no. At least not until Monday. I rolled out a crust, oblong and ugly, but IT FIT THE DISH FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!! And I had to share with the world. In picture form. Taken with my phone. And now my most recent pie odyssey will be told in the camera phone picture quality!

And I just knew everything was going to be absolutely perfect when the pie crust fit in the pie dish. Dad's birthday pie would be amazing!

Look, isn't it pretty?! Yay!! Leftover for a cicinnamon and sugar snack! Can't you just taste the optimism?!

Now for the filling. And the meringue. Hmm maybe the filling will thicken up as it cools.


Put it all together, bake it, and doesn't that look lovely?

Here it is baked on it's way to the birthday dad! It sloshes and jiggles like a shirtless man at a football game.


All over my car.



Oh my goodness!! It's a sixtieth birthday miracle!!!


Ummmmmm the pie fairy named Marie Calendar came, that was the miracle.


So where was my pie?


...


The drawer of shame.


Actually that was the only place in the fridge it fit. It was! But it came out to play for the singing.

See, that curly green thing is a candle. And those forks right there, ya the pie was on the table!

...Um no, none of those forks ever actually touched the pie.

Next time Pie! Next time!!! You haven't seen the last of me!!

What? Again?!

So I made dinner...and did not take pictures because I wasn't going to blog about my dinner again. So ummmm how about that local sports team, I hear there were scores involved and rules and sports equipment. Super exciting action during the sports part, huh?

Ya, so I made falafel wraps today. And yesterday. Today's wraps turned out better than the one I made yesterday though. And because I am amazing I will now field your questions: But why did I make falafel wraps? Don't you put falafel in a pita? Wait, a wrap? How did they fit? What is falafel? You made falafel? Waffles? Are you a vegetarian? WOW, you have many questions my 3 loyal blog readers, and coworkers, and roommates who wonder what the heck I am eating. Or they just guess. Today I opened my lunch container, containing stuffed grape leaves, and my coworker asks "Seaweed tamales?" Um moving on...

To answer the questions you didn't really have:

• Wraps are tasty!
• Whole wheat tortillas are cheaper than pita bread, comes with more in the package and is more convenient when I eat egg and avocado burritos. (One day I will share the recipe, it's amazing and there are only three ingredients!)
• I sliced up my falafel.
• A falafel is a middle eastern food, made with chick peas (also called garbanzo beans), salt, stuff, and herbs, is then shaped into balls and fried. And in my case, put in containers, sealed with plastic, and sent to my local membership warehouse store, where it jumped into my cart! True story.
• By the afore mentioned store with acrobatic products, you can safely assume I grew the chick peas, I harvested the chick peas, I grew the plastic, I harvested the plastic, I built the store brick by handmade brick...
• I like my waffles with honey.
• Only on the days I don't eat meat. ;)
  

What made today's wraps better was I sliced my cucumbers with a knife instead of a veggie peeler because I found a cutting board. The thicker cucumber added a nice crunch to the wrap. Also I put all my veg on half of the tortilla and used less, thus enabling me to actually "wrap" my food instead of some weird tacurrito hybrid with veg and falafel falling all over the place.

Building your falafel wrap:

Put whole wheat tortilla on plate
Spread tahini all over the top
Place a few cucumber slices on half the tortilla, a quarter inch from the edges
Top cucumber with a leaf of romaine lettuce
Sprinkle chopped up kamala olives on top
Add thinly sliced red bell pepper
Now thinly sliced tomato
Slice falafel and place on top
Now with the food covered half toward you, fold up the sides slightly, now roll the food half all the way to the empty half, keeping the sides tucked in.
Push down slightly letting the tahini act as a food glue, a tasty, tasty food glue.

Enjoy!!

Do Fish Like Carrots?

Hello, yeah, it's been a while. Not much, how about you? I really do miss your smile so posting it is!

I really have been thinking about my beloved blog for a while. I have 2 in-progress posts floating around binary land, plus a third (I hope) locked in the bowels my portable hard drive from when my lap top C-R-A-S-H-E-D. But we will not speak of that dark time. The trouble is I have some great ideas and start to put thought to computer screen but inevitably my mind goes to my trip to upstate New York, or the kitchen, or camping (bad when preforming a show!), or to facebook (and when my mind goes to facebook, it takes my eyes and fingers with it) and I abandon (itchy facebook fingers! Itchy facebook fingers!!!) my post believing I will finish it later. This does not always work out well as some ideas are time sensitive.

And then there is this post. I had the idea for this post when I was googling my dinner (not literally). I needed to use what I had and a quick pantry recon produced the desired herbs and an impulse purchase of a lemon yesterday completed the extras I felt I needed to google a good recipe. (google: Dill and Lemon Tilapia) I would document the preparation and final product of my delightful and healthy-ish dinner (something about moderation is NOT eating a cup and quarter of peas. What?! Don't judge me!).

After I gave a bite of my dinner to my roomie and had a couple of bites myself, I belatedly remembered I wanted to document this momentous dinner for the culinary enjoyment of all the internet. I toyed with the idea of just eating and waiting until some other day, but it just didn't seem right, so I got out the camera for all of posterity. Plus it was way good and I want to make it again, thus permanent recipe storage!

So here is my dinner, and the added bonus of reverse engineered pictures that do not contain a carrot, because I ate it. It was way good too. The recipe is adapted from this site. Doesn't that look FANTASTIC?! (Quiet fish haters!) And now for my

Lemon Dill Tilapia

Why yes that is a slightly artsy picture taken with a point and shoot. I am a master photographer. Really. It wasn't dumb luck I discovered the camera could do that. It was the inner photographer, the natural master that I am, the gre...I'm bored, let's talk about how to make this beauty!

First you will need this stuff, half a carrot, and a fillet of tilapia. Or some other fish from the freezer, or fridge, or local fish monger, or your deep sea fishing expedition this morning. Also you will need some aluminum foil or parchment paper, a knife, a food grater, and a working oven.

Just a note, my recipe is for 1 person, but can easily be expanded.

For those not into the Ikea picture direction for cooking, here is "this stuff" in a more traditional format:

1/2 a lemon
1/2 tsp minced garlic*
dry dill
a pinch of cayenne pepper (called ground red pepper on the jar) (optional)
Salt and Pepper to taste
1/2 a carrot*
1 fillet tilapia

*Measurements are not exact, you can add more or less if you like.

Preheat oven to 375 F (190 C) (just in case I suddenly become popular with international readers).

Next lay out foil or parchment large enough to wrap the fish. Slice lemon and place in the center of the foil. I used 4 slices, but one missing from this picture because it loved the fish so much it stayed with it till the end.

Using a fork, place little bits of garlic around the 4 corners of the lemon slice cluster and sprinkle with a little bit of dill. Placing the garlic by the lemons rather than on the lemons imparts a mild garlic flavor, while still letting the lemon shine through.

Lay the fish on top of the lemons. Season with salt and pepper, cayenne pepper (teeny tiny, next time I don't think I will use it.), and dry dill. You can judge from the first picture, or put on as much or as little as your heart desires. Heck you can shower your fish, your self and your kitchen in dill if you want.

Shred the half a carrot onto your fish. Save or eat the other half of carrot. Mmmm carrot ghgghhghhghgggghhghghgh. Or less if your tastes do not lean toward the carrot encrusted.

Now fold over the smaller sides of foil and bring up the other two sides and crimp down sealing your fish and all it's fishy goodness in your little fishy pouch. If you are using parchment you should follow the directions here. And probably use a rimmed baking sheet, which I did not use because I used foil and just put it in the oven on the rack and waited impatiently for my fish! Bake for 20 - 25 minutes, until fish is flaky and opaque.

Oh what to do when waiting for my fish...make PEAS! With a little garlic sea salt and some pepper when boiling...yum yum!


Add a side of brown rice (made in the rice cooker you have just now used exactly twice in ten years) and at the end of your meal the only thing left will be this:

Enjoy!